They say that it gets easier with time. You forget about it. But maybe, just maybe, you never forget about it. It is always there. The pain. Maybe you get used to it. Isn’t that the only option you have? The pain, it doesn’t heal with time. You simply find a way to deal with it. To deal with the way it agonizes in you, to deal with it subtly enough to not feel any of it anymore. You try forgetting all of it. But in this process, all that you do is constantly remind yourself that you have to put efforts to get rid of her thought. Get rid of the way she held you close enough for you to listen to her steady rhythmic heartbeat, get rid of how her wet lips left a lingering effect on yours, get rid of the thought of cuddling together having coffee, forgetting how she caressed your hair, getting rid of those entangled fingers; getting rid of how she made every effort to make your day worthwhile. Getting rid of her.
They say there is always room for better. But what if she was the best you could ever have? What if there is no room for anything better at all? Comparisons are easily done when you have had a taste of perfection. You are scared. Like, why the person wants to be with you. Why did they like you in the first place? Will they bear with all your tantrums? Keep up with all the moods? Make sure they are there at your worst? Will they just be there to listen to all the silence when you don’t want to talk? Will they be there even when you don’t want them to be there? And the worst part, what if you fall in love with her? And what if overnight they decide to leave you and walk away? Will you be able to let her go and move on? Bear that much pain?
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